How to start a conversation with a stranger online

The first ten seconds decide most random chats. Here is how to open so the other person has something to answer.

Why "hi" so often goes nowhere

"Hi" is polite, but it hands the other person all the work. They have to think of a topic, and a stranger who owes you nothing will often press Skip instead. An opener works when it is easy to answer and says a little about you at the same time.

Openers that get a reply

Start from what you share. If the chat shows an interest in common, use it: "You like music too. What have you had on repeat this week?"
Ask about right now. "What time is it where you are?" or "What were you doing before this?" are simple, and nearly everyone has an answer.
Offer something first. "I am putting off work and my coffee has gone cold. You?" gives them a line to play against.
Ask for a small opinion. "Settle something for me: is cereal a soup?" Low stakes, and it shows you are here for a chat and not an interview.

Keeping it going

Good conversations run on follow-up questions. When someone answers, pick one detail from what they said and ask about it, instead of jumping to your next prepared question. "You are learning guitar? What made you start?" does more than five new topics in a row.

Prefer questions that start with "what" or "how" over ones that can be answered yes or no.
Match their length. If they write one line, a wall of text is a lot to receive.
Share as much as you ask. A chat that is all questions feels like a form.
A short pause is normal. Give people a moment to type before you fill the silence.

What to leave out

"ASL?" as a first line. Asking for age, sex and location before anything else reads as a filter, not a greeting.
Personal details. Do not ask for, or give, a full name, address, phone number or social media account in the first minutes. The safety page explains why.
Anything sexual, uninvited. It breaks the community guidelines and ends most chats on the spot.

Leaving well

Not every chat clicks, and that is no one's fault. "Nice talking to you, take care" and then Skip is a perfectly good ending. If someone is rude, you owe them no goodbye at all: skip, or open the chat menu and block or report them.

If it goes badly, it costs you nothing

The useful thing about random chat is that a flat conversation has no consequences. Nobody here knows who you are, and the next person has not seen the last chat. That makes it a good place to practise: try a different opener each time and notice which ones people answer.

Keep reading

Or skip the reading and start a chat.